The Turkish ‘Kinsey Report’, Part 3 – First Time Sex

Turkish Sexuality Survey Question —
How would you describe your first sexual experience?

As Metin Üstündag was saying in Part 2…

Until recently, Turkish kids got their sex education in a very haphazard manner — with mostly bad results. My generation was luckier, in some ways — because of what happened in the mid-1970’s in Yesilcam (Turkey’s Hollywood-like film capital located in Istanbul).

The Turkish Erotic Films industry was born (and thrived) during that time and it provided my generation with a sex education, of sorts — though it fell well short of being authoritative. What could we expect? In the role of our sex educator was a porn star, Aydemir Akbas (now a legitimate actor at age 70, who has more than 95 films to his credit). And when he’d leer sexily at the women in those early films, they’d immediately begin to moan with exaggerated desire. In fact, those films probably did more to a develop our sense of humor about sex, than they did to educate us about its ‘finer points’.

Headlines from the sexuality survey…

  • 6 of 10 virgin couples felt ‘excitement’ at the thought of their first sexual congress as partners.
  • 23% of those surveyed felt ‘lust’ during their first sexual experience. The second most mentioned feeling was ‘nervousness’ — noted by 10.6% of participants.
  • Of those citing a feeling of ‘lust’ during their first sexual experience, most were aged 16-34
  • Men (6.2%) more than women (4.9%) described their first sexual experiences as ‘fatiguing’.
  • Slightly more women (9.9%) than men (8.8%) described their first sexual experience with ‘repugnance, guilt, or anger.’ And…
  • Of the more educated women in the survey, one-third of High School finishers and an equal percentage of University graduates were definite in describing their first sexual experiences as ‘unpleasant’, even ‘bad’. But…
  • Men and women equally (6.8%) said their first sexual experience made them “feel safe and secure.”
  • The 4 most-favored places for first-time sex were:

    1) One’s own home (Male – 43%, Female – 82% )

    2) Someone else’s home (M – 18%, F – 7% )

    3) A hotel (M – 9%, F – 3% )

    4) A brothel (M – 20%, F – 0% )

  • First-time sex-partners fell into three main categories:

    1) Husband/wife (Male – 25%, Female – 81% )

    2) Boyfriend/girlfriend (M – 27%, F – 13% )

    3) Prostitutes (M – 27%, F – 0% )

  • Among the celebrities polled, we were drawn to the ‘first time sex’ observations of the full-blooded veteran-actress Müjde Ar and the multi-talented Hülya Avsar…

    Film and TV Actress Müjde Ar

    It’s probably not fair to generalize about men. And, I don’t believe that every pubescent child rings at the door of a brothel — though life is faster and bolder in the big cities these days. As for the subject of the first sexual experience, in my opinion, a man’s greatest fear…is that his nervousness will show!

    All-round Entertainer Hülya Avsar

    I didn’t feel any nervousness, I felt excitement. That’s got much to do with the partner you’re with — and how the man makes you feel. I didn’t suffer a bit at the crucial moment. Afterwards, I had to hear it from him that I was no longer a virgin.

    In Part 4: More headlines from the Turkish ‘Kinsey Report’ — and answers to the Sexuality Survey Question, ‘How old were you when you had your first sexual relationship?

    Click following to access a fully illustrated HTML version of Turkish Sexuality Survey — First Time Sex

    How to Educate Your Child About Sex

    Many parents think that talking about sex in front of their kids may harm their brain and take them in the wrong way. But this is totally a misconception. Even avoidance of sex education can make more harm to the kids. You may adopt the following methods to educate your child about sex.

    1. Try to teach sex to your child in a matter of fact manner, in the same manner as you would talk about any matter with them.

    2. Do not lecture. Be persuasive and sympathetic and make sure the child’s interest remains sustained and element of curiosity stays on.

    3. If a child poses any question, during the course of sex education, that must be replied to allay his doubts and/or misconceptions.

    4. Your discussion should not be around disclosure of biological factors alone. It should also include values, emotions, decision making also, since the young ones value such qualities.

    5. Puberty begins from the tenth year, when physical changes like pubic hair, erection of clitoris, enlargement of breast and prominence of nipples, menstruation etc start taking places. So, it is always better to educate the child about sex before the said changes surface.

    6. Electronic media, porno magazines and literature, x-rated films have already enhanced children’s knowledge about homosexuality, heterosexuality, prostitution, masturbation, self-abuse or child-abuse, etc. So, such aspect must also be part of a parent’s sex education program.

    7. Tell your child what is erection of penis and of clitoris and also what is masturbation, especially to girls. Also explain how and when venereal diseases, AIDS, HIV problems set in. Respond to child’s enquiries in a receptive, sympathetic and friendly way, so that they don’t feel that they have been landed in an awkward position. Let them stay normal.

    8. Include and encourage your child to put any question, concerning the subject, to you and, when asked, be simple explicit.

    Advantage of Sex Education

    1. It will lay emphasis on behavioral, biological, psychological, cultural, clinical aspects.

    2. Sexual problems can be prevented by better sex education.

    No Sex Drive During Pregnancy

    When a woman is pregnant, her sex drive can be unpredictable. Some women find that their libido goes through the roof when they are pregnant, while others seem to lose their desire to have sex all together. Both experiences are normal but having a low sex drive can be frustrating for a couple’s relationship.

    There are a lot of reasons why a woman may have a low sex drive when she’s pregnant. It may be because she is more tired or feeling ill. Some women have difficulty adjusting to their new pregnant body and may feel unattractive or find sex itself is difficult. Finding comfortable positions may be challenging when you have a big belly in your way. Still, sometimes a woman really doesn’t know why she’s not interested. This may just be a result of hormonal changes.

    Talk to your partner about how you are feeling. You shouldn’t feel pressured to have sex if it is not comfortable or pleasurable for you, but at the same time, it may be unfair to expect your partner to do without sex for unreasonably long periods. If there is a medical reason for abstaining from intercourse, this may be unavoidable but if your low sex drive is the only reason for not having sex with your partner, you should talk to him about it.

    Sometimes it just takes longer to get in the mood. You may want to try things that help you relax and feel more sexual. Taking a warm bath, getting or giving a massage, going out on a romantic date, are all ideas that may help you feel more attractive, sexual and more in the mood. Some women may struggle with a low sex drive through their entire pregnancy and find that nothing really works to overcome this. The best thing a woman can do is communicate with her partner to find ways to work around this.